So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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