This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
