If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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