You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
