My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
