What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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