It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
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I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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