I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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