they need to just BURY HIM!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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