i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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