therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
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Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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