she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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