so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
