i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
