if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
