Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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