I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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