i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is wine microwaveable?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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