im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
