I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
