Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
