Your tits are I can't wait for
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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