it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
