You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
