so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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