I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I love you.
Bad choice
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