PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
