Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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