I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
