we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
