everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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