i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
