i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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