I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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