I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
