I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
