1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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