Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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