so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There are leaves in my underwear?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
