there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm getting married
To pizza
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
