I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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