Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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