Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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