WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
