what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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