Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
