Buhtt sex?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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