Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
