we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
