I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
