Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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