Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
