She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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