and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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