when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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