who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It was confusing and full of hummus
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize