his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize