..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
