I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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