so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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