I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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