Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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