I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
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