I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
