Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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