take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
