The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
