i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
