Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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