You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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