and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
