last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
